I love the Christmas story. I love that God chose a young Jewish girl to work His perfect plan for the salvation of the world. I love that God provided all the right events to fulfil centuries worth of prophecies in one birth. I love that God chose to tell the shepherds first. I love that God was so thrilled that He sent a birth announcement in the form of a multitude of heavenly host. I love it all.
However, now that I am a mother, I look at the story differently. When the snow covers the ground and the stores start playing Christmas music, I always think about Mary. The uncertainty she must have felt. The courage she had. The dreams that she traded for God's perfect plan. You know the dreams I mean. If you are a woman, you should understand. I know that the culture was completely different in that time and in that place, but I think the dreams of a young woman must have surely been somewhat similar to my own. Mary probably dreamed about the man she would marry. I don't know if she was in love with Joseph like love is portrayed in fairy tales. You know, the knight in shining armor, the love songs, the flowers, things like that. But I'm sure that she was planning for her future home with Joseph and daydreamed about what the wedding feast would be like.
Unfortunately, I don't think she ever got to attend a wedding feast. The Bible doesn't tell us for sure, and I haven't done enough research into Jewish tradition of that time, but I am fairly certain that she did not have much of a wedding celebration, if she had one at all. You remember, Joseph had to decide if he was going to have her stoned or put away. Her family and her community thought the worst of her. I doubt her father wanted to invite all of his friends to celebrate his pregnant daughters marriage. Instead, she probably went with Joseph to sign the marriage contract and quietly moved her things over to live with him. No feast, no celebration, no real wedding.
I picture Mary and Joseph preparing for the birth. I know they didn't have lots of money, but Joseph was a carpenter after all. I picture him working on a cradle every evening after he finishes his other work. I picture Mary working on little clothes for the baby as she is able to save up enough money. I picture them together talking about what the angel had said to each of them. I picture them growing together in their relationship with each other, adapting to the change in their relationship that this baby created. I think Mary must have been moved by Joseph's willingness to help her in the birth of this child that was not his own. I think Joseph must have been nervous at first about marrying this girl under such circumstances, but he must have seen in her the strength and the courage that she had through it all.
When I think about it, it reminds me of how I was when I was expecting a baby. Especially, when we found out we were expecting Josh. I didn't have lots of extra money. But I wanted him to have the best. I found a crib and a cradle. I sewed curtains and blankets, I saved up my money to buy cute little outfits and unecessary little toys. I decorated his room and made sure the house was sparkling clean before his arrival. I had my Mama fly in from Alaska to be there when he was born. When the contractions started I called all of my family to tell them it was almost time. After he was born, we had pictures taken and sent out birth announcements to everyone. People from my church bought us gifts and brought us meals and asked to hold the baby. We were showered with love, gifts, and congratulations.
It wasn't like that for Mary. In spite of her planning, the birth of her first child did not happen the way she must have pictured it. Her family was not there to help or encourage her. If they had made preparations like I imagine they did, they weren't able to take those baby things with them to Bethlehem. The cradle stayed behind in Nazereth, there was no way to carry it with them. The little baby things I imagine Mary worked hard to make didn't get to go either. It was just as God had planned, but it wasn't the dream Mary had always pictured growing up. Her first baby wasn't born in a warm house. His birth wasn't celebrated by her dearest family and friends. She traded her dreams for God's great plan and trusted His plan for her life even when she didn't understand.
As a mother, I can't imagine what Mary endured on that trip to Bethlehem or how her heart must have longed for the birth of her first child to be as she had hoped it would be. I can't imagine being so far away from family, being in an unfamiliar place, having not even the basics to clothe the little one. I am so thankful. however, for her strength and willingness to trade her plans for God's.
I am thankful for the little things in my life. The little onesies, the little shoes, the soft baby blankets, and the little bassinet that each of my children had when they were brand new. My Savior didn't have those things. Still, He loves me enough to provide them for me and for my children. I'm thankful for warm, safe hospitals where my children were born even though my Savior was satisfied being born in a stable. I'm thankful for little baby clothes even though my Savior was content with swaddling clothes. I'm thankful for cute little birth announcements even though Christ's birth was never really celebrated as it should have been. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be a mother and how He uses it in my life to teach me more about Himself each day.
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